Jake and Dave Yapp‘s Audio Freqs

Bonussy AF - Side A

Look, got som pretty awful news for you. Um, don't know if you heard but Jesus died. It's awful. Apparently he was a really nice guy. And so young. I don't know much about it, but I bet it was that bloody motorbike of his. Anyway. Fingers crossed for some GOOD NEWS sometime SOON.

In the MEANTIME. Here's a teasey sort of podcast - there are some brand new bits, but we're giving you a little sneaky peek at some of the sorts of things we get up to in the bonus podcasts - there are at least two a month, they're full-length, and they're really good. If you want to sign up and get full access, you can mosey on over to www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs and chuck us a fiver for all the good times. It's hard to believe that something so unbelievably cheap-sounding does cost money to run, but we have to pay myriad hosting fees and stuff, so your support directly keeps us going. SPECIAL THANKS to all our existing supporters - your next bonus will be dropping at some point this weekend. Maybe on the third day. Feels about right. 

(Sorry Jesus, and positively not a shred of offence intended to anyone. Jesus really WAS a good guy. Arguably the BEST. Fingers crossed)

xxx

Crashy AF - Side B

Continuing the Saga, looking at the entire industry of spin-offs from the Star Wars franchise. PLUS some amazing Barnacle Bills for you. 

Sorry, I just got distracted. I've got the news on and they just used the phrase 'Ship-based science' and I completely misheard the 'ship-based' part and now I can't remember what I was going to say. 

Anyway, hi. How's it going? 

x

Crashy AF - Side A

A little while ago... In a galaxy quite a ways off... 

In which we take a deep dive into the parallel universes of Star Wars '''''''''inspired'''''''' esoterica. Plus some speculation on the appearance of a bald wookie. Google it, or have a look on the @audio_freqs instagram account. Davey will probably post a picture there, and then you'll be sorry. 

Don't forget, there's a bonus episode every fortnight if you fancy it - head over to www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs - or head over to eMule and download the lot for free. One of the perks of being a boutique podcast hem-hem is no-one is interested in pirating it. 

Have a lully weekend!

xxx

Contrapuntal AF - Side B

We're bach with Back. More WACHY BACH FACHTS for you!?!?!?!?!

Bach was a quick learner, but his brother said he wasn’t ready to learn the pieces in a book of famous compositions that were in the cupboard. So at night, J.S. Bach snuck downstairs and copied the notes by hand using only moonlight so he wouldn’t wake anyone up. It took him 6 months! How WACHY is THACH?

Also quite needy. And I feel like he had a bit of a bad attitude to women. HI HO ON WE TRUDGE.

I promised I'd tell you about the fun and easy way to get money away from you, and closer to us, in return for additional access to digitised content, made with heart and always, always love*. Just click on this: www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs to find out about bonus podcasts and whatsapp groups and STUFF.

See 'Jo' soon!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?! God help me

*I mean, actually true tbh, but I am trying to look COOL ok? 

Contrapuntal AF - Side A

Well, I thought I'd take this opportunity to hit you up with some WACHY BACH FACHTS! FUN FACHT: Bach got put in prison by Duke Wilhelm, because he asked if he could please go and work as a composer for Prince Leopold. Wachy!

FUN FACHT: When Bach wrote religious pieces, he'd put the initials INJ at the top, which some people think means In Nomine Jesu, but could also be a meyers-Briggs test result from a Russian website, meaning Bach's personality type was Impregnating-Naughty-Jiggly. We just don't know. We'll be 'BACH' next week! We're CRACHERS!

God, please give us some money. There's a couple of full-length bonus podcasts in it for you and a secret whatsapp group: www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs. Or, if you are VERY POOR, then go out on the streets and play the podcast off your phone at strangers until they promise to subscribe mny thx LOVE YOU. 

 

Divine AF - Side B

Let's not say 'amazing'. Let's describe it as simply 'staggering'. So we have some renditions of Staggering Grace that will leave you positively enraptured. 

I was just blasting on through naptime tbh and am most unimpressed with myself, but Davey and the music should allow you to behold the majesty of His* divine second coming etc. Love you. Don't forget, there's a much more energetic full-length bonus every coupla weeks for supporters over on www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs - go have a look xxx

*not Davey's

Divine AF - Side A

This time, we're moving in mysterious ways. From TV evangelists to some of the most Amazing, yet Graceless renditions of Amazing Grace, Jake and Dave listen to some of the most incontrovertibly zealous, yet meritless spiritual audio. 

If you're interested in the Poke video mentioned in the podcast, here's the link: https://youtu.be/jTn4u3ULqec 

Don't forget, there's a full-length bonus podcast twice a month for subscribers - head on over to www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs for that and other FUN PERKS, including a saucy whatsapp group. 

In the meantime, we are praying for you. And please, please pray for us xxx

Romantic AF - Side B

Jake is back after last week's hiatus. Hiatus gonna hiate, hiate, hiate, hiate. But the LOVE is in the air (open a window). Have you ever wondered how the racy novelist Barbara Cartland might sound if she was singing? Of course you haven't. You'd be SO WEIRD if you had. But I bet you're wondering now. Well. Play this podcast, and, in due course, you'll ACTUALLY FIND OUT. 

Not only that, but we have a deeply romantic binaural treat for you. Which sounds more exciting than it is. So, swings and roundabouts. 
And it's roundabout a fiver a month if you would like to help support the podcast and get an extra full-length podcast every other week. Go over to www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs to find out what fun secret things you can unlock through the magic of financial patronage... 

Thank you! We TOTALLY LOVE YOU. xx

Romantic AF - Side A

Yes, it's THAT kind of mixtape as we belatedly celebrate St Valentine's Day, staggering back from the garage with a box of Matchmakers and a Catford Bunch*.

Jake is away this week, but a special quasi-celebrity guest is sitting in for him. Star, ahahahaha of BBC Radio 4 Extra and one-time Girl Friday for Martin Kelner, kindly clench your buttocks on Davey's behalf as we welcome none other than nonagenarian good-time gal... DORA DALE. We'll be back to normal next time. In the meantime, if you just can't get enough, there's two full-length bonus episodes every month for supporters over at www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs, as well as access to livestreams and a secret whatsapp group. 

*A charming epithet used to describe a bouquet of flowers hastily unsellotaped from a pedestrian crossing on the way home

Poetic AF - Side B

Surely the greatest song poem ever written is featured in this one, quick trigger warning, the lyricist may have slipped a 'pen*s' in there. 

Also, David makes reference to Peer Gynt, and I realise now that if you suffixed Peer Gynt with the word 'Middle', you'd have a popular competitive game of catch as played in Yorkshire playgrounds.

That's pretty much all I have. HOWEVER. there IS more to be had. There's a bonus episode for people buying us a coffee at www.ko-fi.com/audiofreqs, and when you bung us a fiver a month, you'll get two full-length new episodes, the first of which we just recorded, and it's really, REALLY good. I know what you're thinking - THIS stuff is pretty incredible, so the paywalled stuff must be PURE GOLD. 

(I will say that it's very much not an afterthought. It's full-blown stuff. There is a HUGE revelation in our first bonus. Hurry up and subscribe so you get it)

Ok, that's all the SELLING BUSINESS DONE. Have a blessed day! xxx